How to Use a Sex Pillow: Positions and Tips for Better Comfort

Quick answer

A sex pillow—often shaped like a wedge—works by lifting your hips, lower back, or knees to change the angle of penetration and reduce strain. Start with a low incline and experiment with positions like missionary with lifted hips or doggy style with chest support. Always follow the manufacturer's cleaning instructions to keep the pillow hygienic.

A sex pillow might look like a simple prop, but the right wedge can transform how your body aligns during intimacy. Whether you're dealing with a sore back, want to hit a different angle, or just need extra cushioning for your knees, a pillow can make sex more comfortable and enjoyable.

In this guide, we'll walk you through how to use a sex pillow step by step, covering the best positions for different goals, tips for beginners, and how to clean your pillow so it stays fresh for years.

Why use a sex pillow?

A sex pillow is more than just a cushion. Its wedge shape lifts your hips or torso to a specific angle, which can reduce strain on your back, knees, and wrists. This is especially helpful if you have limited mobility, are recovering from an injury, or simply want to try something new without discomfort.

The incline also changes the angle of penetration, which can stimulate different internal spots or make deeper penetration more comfortable. For many people, a pillow adds a layer of support that makes positions like missionary or doggy style feel less tiring and more pleasurable.

• Look for a pillow with a firm foam core that won't flatten under your weight.
• If you're new to sex pillows, start with a low incline (around 15–20 degrees) and work your way up.

Choosing the right sex pillow for your needs

Not all sex pillows are created equal. Some are designed as wedges that sit under your hips, while others are longer and more like a bolster for full-body support. Consider what you want to achieve: more comfort, deeper penetration, or easier access for oral sex.

Material matters too. Look for a pillow with a washable cover or one made from body-safe, non-porous materials that are easy to wipe down. A pillow that can't be cleaned properly will trap sweat and fluids, which isn't hygienic.

• Check the cover: removable and machine-washable is best.
• If you have allergies, choose a pillow with a hypoallergenic cover.

How to use a sex pillow: step-by-step

Using a sex pillow is straightforward, but a little planning goes a long way. Start by placing the pillow on a firm, stable surface like a bed or floor. Make sure it's centered and won't slide around during use. If your pillow doesn't have a non-slip base, you can place it on a towel or yoga mat for extra grip.

Then, position yourself or your partner on the pillow. The most common setup is to place the wedge under the receiving partner's hips in missionary position. Adjust the angle until it feels comfortable and supportive. You can also use the pillow under your chest for doggy style or under your knees for a more upright position.

• Communicate with your partner about what feels good and adjust as needed.
• Use a towel or blanket over the pillow for easy cleanup if you're not ready to wash it after every session.

Best sex pillow positions for comfort and deeper penetration

Missionary with a lifted pelvis is a classic. Place the wedge under the receiving partner's hips to tilt the pelvis upward. This can make penetration feel deeper and more intense, and it also reduces strain on the receiving partner's lower back.

For doggy style, place the pillow under your chest or stomach to support your upper body. This takes pressure off your arms and allows you to relax into the position. You can also use the pillow under your knees for extra padding on hard floors.

If you want to try a more advanced angle, place the pillow under the giving partner's hips in a face-to-face position. This can change the angle of thrusting and make it easier to hit the G-spot or prostate.

• Experiment with the pillow's placement—even a few inches can change the angle significantly.
• If you're using a pillow for deeper penetration, start slow and communicate with your partner to avoid discomfort.

Tips for beginners using a sex pillow

If you're new to sex pillows, don't overthink it. Start with a simple position like missionary and place the pillow under your hips. The goal is to feel more supported, not to perform acrobatics. Take your time to adjust the angle until it feels right.

Remember, a sex pillow is a tool for comfort, not a requirement. If a position doesn't feel good, move the pillow or try a different one. The best position is the one that feels good for you and your partner.

• Use plenty of lubricant to reduce friction and make the experience smoother.
• If you feel any pain or discomfort, stop and adjust the pillow or switch positions.

How to clean your sex pillow

Cleaning your sex pillow is essential for hygiene. Most pillows come with a removable, machine-washable cover—check the label to confirm. Remove the cover and wash it in cold or warm water with a gentle detergent. Air dry or tumble dry on low, depending on the care instructions.

For the inner foam core, spot clean with a damp cloth and mild soap. Avoid soaking the foam, as it can take a long time to dry and may develop mold. If your pillow is made from a non-porous material like silicone, you can wipe it down with a sex toy cleaner or a mild soap and water solution.

• Always check the care label before washing.
• Store your pillow in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight to prevent damage.

Step-by-step: How to use a sex pillow

1. Choose the right pillow: Select a wedge-shaped pillow with a firm foam core and a washable cover. Start with a low incline if you're a beginner. Checkpoint: Make sure the pillow is stable and won't flatten under your weight.
2. Position the pillow: Place the pillow on a firm, stable surface. For missionary, put it under the receiving partner's hips. For doggy style, place it under the chest or knees. Checkpoint: Adjust the angle until it feels supportive and comfortable.
3. Get comfortable and adjust: Get into position and communicate with your partner. Move the pillow as needed to find the most comfortable angle. Checkpoint: If you feel any strain or discomfort, reposition the pillow or try a different placement.
4. Use lubricant: Apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to reduce friction and enhance comfort. Checkpoint: Keep your lube bottle within reach—consider using a grip sleeve for a secure hold.
5. Clean the pillow after use: Remove the cover and wash it according to the care label. Spot clean the foam core with a damp cloth and mild soap. Checkpoint: Ensure the pillow is completely dry before storing it.

Products that can help

• Grip: Grip is a textured silicone sleeve designed to fit your lube bottle, helping you keep a steady, slip-free hold during use. When you're using a sex pillow, your hands can get slippery with lube. Grip ensures you have a firm hold on your lube bottle, so you can easily reapply without fumbling.
• Sex Dice: Dice by Dame is a new game to get you in the mood. Roll both dice together and let the fun commence. If you're exploring new positions with a sex pillow, Sex Dice can add a playful element to your session, helping you discover new angles and actions you might not have tried otherwise.

A sex pillow is a simple, affordable way to make sex more comfortable and enjoyable. By following these steps and experimenting with different positions, you can find what works best for you and your partner. Remember to prioritize comfort, communication, and cleanliness—and don't forget to have fun.